Places We Go When We Search for Connection at Work
We spend much of our lives at work. And that work doesn’t just involve completing tasks, but navigating relationships, teams, and cultures. And whether we realize it or not, so much of our energy each day goes toward searching for connection.
When we feel connected at work, we show up more authentically. We’re more creative, more collaborative, and more resilient. But when that sense of connection is missing, we can start to question our value, our place, and our belonging.
The Emotions Under the Surface
Belonging
A practice that requires vulnerability, discomfort, and presence. True belonging doesn’t mean fitting in—it means showing up fully without sacrificing who we are.
Belonging uncertainty describes the feeling of questioning whether we truly belong in a social setting or group.
Connection
The energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment and find sustenance and strength in the relationship.
Disconnection
Often equated with social rejection, exclusion, or isolation. Feelings of disconnection actually activate the same neural pathways as physical pain, which is why it hurts so deeply.
Insecurity
Domain-specific insecurity: Doubt about a specific area of competence or resource (e.g., “I’m not good enough at this skill”).
Relationship insecurity: Feeling uncertain about the trust or support within a relationship.
General insecurity: Being overly critical of your own weaknesses or perceived flaws.
Invisibility
A function of disconnection and dehumanization. When an individual or group’s humanity or relevance is ignored, dismissed, or diminished.
Loneliness
The absence of meaningful social interaction; feeling unseen or unvalued, even when surrounded by others.
Why This Place Is So Common at Work
This place is all about connection. We want to feel part of something—to belong to a team, a mission, a community. But work can easily become siloed. In hybrid or remote environments especially, it’s possible to feel like a team of one, even if you’re technically working with others.
But as Brené Brown reminds us, “We have to belong to ourselves as much as we need to belong to others. Any belonging that asks us to betray ourselves is not true belonging.”
True connection starts with authenticity—showing up as yourself—and it thrives in environments where people are seen, valued, and heard.
The Default Emotion: “I’m Insecure”
When we don’t feel connected at work, “I’m feeling insecure” is a common response. And in leadership circles, ideas of connection on the team show up indirectly in engagement surveys asking questions like, “Do you have a best friend at work?”
While insecurity is a valid emotion, it’s often just the doorway. Beneath it may be loneliness, invisibility, or disconnection and each points to a different need.
Digging Deeper
When you find yourself searching for connection, pause and ask:
Am I able to share my authentic self here?
Do I feel accepted for who I am?
Do I belong or am I trying to fit in?
Do I feel seen, heard, and valued by my team?
Do I accept my own strengths and weaknesses?
Have I been diminished in importance or overlooked?
The emotion you name helps you locate the need underneath it. Maybe you need feedback. Maybe you need appreciation. Or maybe you need to reconnect with your own sense of worth before you can connect meaningfully with others.
The Power of Naming It
Accurately defining your emotion gives you clarity on what to do next and how others can support you.
Example 1:
Rather than saying “I’m insecure,” you recognize what you’re feeling more specifically as personal insecurity. You’ve been overly critical of your weaknesses, but you want to feel proud of your strengths. Ask yourself: What’s one step I can take today to celebrate what I’ve accomplished or what I do best?
Example 2:
Instead of “I’m insecure,” you identify disconnection. That opens the door for your leader or teammates to help you reintegrate, perhaps by extending more opportunities to you for collaboration, check-ins, or shared problem-solving.
When you name the real emotion, you invite understanding and when teams understand each other better, connection naturally grows.
Want to Go Deeper?
Connection at work is built through awareness, courage, and care. If your team is ready to strengthen connection and communication, Nimble Up offers a 2-hour virtual webinar on Emotions at Work to help teams develop the language and confidence to build trust, empathy, and real belonging.