What We Uncover Before We Plan

After we ground the body and settle the nervous system with breath and gentle movement, we move into the next part of the New Moon Reset: reflection.

This is where clarity starts to take shape.
This is where overwhelm loosens its grip.
And this is where we begin to understand what we truly need before we even think about planning.

Reflection allows you to look honestly at what’s already happening in your life and leadership and uncover the truths that are usually hidden beneath urgency, habit, or noise.

What Reflection Is Designed to Reveal

In the world of Agile project management, retrospectives always begin with a look back. You pause, you assess the last cycle, and over time you start to see patterns of what’s working, what isn’t, and where your habits are helping or hurting you.

We do the same thing here.

You don’t need a specific project or goal to participate. You simply bring yourself and your lived experience from the last month of your life. During reflection, I guide you through questions that help you explore:

• What’s been working well for you?

• What hasn’t been working?

• What needs to start?

• What needs to stop?

• And what deserves to continue?

It sounds simple, but these questions open up an honest internal dialogue that most leaders don’t give themselves the space to have.

And here’s something I see all the time: When I ask people to list what they want to start doing, they fill the page. When I ask what they should stop doing, the list is almost empty.

We’ve been conditioned to add, add, add.
New habits.
New tools.
New systems.
New expectations.

But we rarely pause long enough to say, Do I even need this? Is this helping me? What would happen if I released it?

Reflection gives you permission to acknowledge that you don’t need 10 new things. In fact, you may need fewer things. You may need space. You may need to let something go.

Most leadership programs will immediately give you a checklist of “shoulds.” But you’re already doing so much. Reflection begins with acknowledging that and sorting out what’s worth keeping before we pile on anything new.

It’s the new moon principle: an empty circle ready to be filled.

But first, we make sure there’s actually room inside it.

Themes and Insights That Tend to Emerge

When people engage in this kind of reflection, especially month after month, certain patterns begin to show up. And patterns matter! Patterns are anything you’ve experienced or thought more than three times. They’re clues.

Here are some of the most common themes I see:

1. “I didn’t realize how much I was carrying.”

When you pause long enough to notice what’s been weighing on you, you see the emotional and mental load you’ve been pushing through without acknowledging.

2. “Some of what I’m doing is working really well.”

Leaders often overlook their wins because they’re already onto the next thing. Reflection brings strengths back into focus.

3. “I need to stop doing something before I start something new.”

This is where people finally give themselves permission to release a habit, expectation, or responsibility that no longer fits.

4. Patterns become visible over time.

You may not see a theme immediately. But a few sessions in, you’ll start noticing repeated behaviors, fears, or tendencies. That’s the power of pausing consistently.

5. “I have more control over my emotional state than I realized.”

Even 30 seconds of intentional breathing can shift your nervous system. This awareness builds emotional intelligence in a profound way.

In fact, although I’m not marketing this as an emotional intelligence program, it absolutely strengthens EI skills: acknowledging your feelings, monitoring your emotional responses, and responding with intention rather than reactivity.

Leaders often underestimate how much these micro-regulation skills matter; especially when facing a difficult conversation, a missed deadline, or a frustrated team member. Reflection teaches you how to pause, breathe, and respond rather than react.

Why Reflection Must Come Before Planning

Planning from a dysregulated, overwhelmed, or cluttered mind leads to:

• unrealistic expectations

• overcommitment

• decisions rooted in fear or frustration

• strategies disconnected from your true goals

Reflection clears the space.
It grounds your energy.
It sharpens your self-awareness.

And it prepares you to plan not from scarcity or pressure. But from alignment, clarity, and emotional steadiness.

This is why reflection is foundational.

Before we fill the circle, we make sure it’s empty.

Next Up: Planning With Clarity

In the next post, we’ll talk about how we take everything uncovered in reflection and turn it into a grounded, achievable plan that supports your capacity rather than stretches it thin.

And if you want to experience this reflection process firsthand, I’d love to have you join our first New Moon Reset of 2026. The insights can be subtle at first, but over time, they become the patterns that change everything.